The Mental Shift

The difference between Homer (above) and the happy lady (below) is a shift of perception... I look like Homer when I am dreading what I have left, but I look like Happy Lady (this is what I decided to name her) when I think about how far I've gone or am simply enjoying those steps I am taking at that exact moment.

I started to write on Saturday after my 20 mile run and fell asleep, so let’s give it another try right now. I was aiming for 5 hours and fell short by 10 minutes. At about mile 14 I had started to negotiate with myself and came to the conclusion that 20 miles would be good. I am still planning on running 8 hours on Sunday and the justification at mile 14 said ‘alright Katie, cutting it short this week will be good, a little less pain to forget about…That way you will be fully ready for next week.’ It was a great day, a little hot, but it was good prep for July. The shade was wonderful and under the bridges there was a slight breeze. I did two full loops then an out and back from Lloyd Hall. This time I went around West river first since that will be our route as the Lone Rangers! Every water stop I visualized in my mind. I thought about the 4. Something mile Med tent in the parking lot on West River, how they have the huge light hooked up to the generator. And how I told my brother Sean, to suck it up so he didn’t get stopped as I was nearing mile 45. I laughed thinking about it.

I showered and watched the Phillies once I got home. I was really sore at the time. I had walked a lot of the second half but my feet hurt and I just wanted that Air Conditioner blowing on me as I curled up in bed. I finally nodded off in the 10^th inning around 6:30 and slept 45 mins. The Phillies lost, but my nap was amazing.

This morning I got out for a 3.3 mile run and felt great after! It was a really nice morning and the sun has been rising around 5:30, which makes for a fully lit run for me. I think all the sleep I got this weekend helped, because I wasn’t very sore yesterday. I slept a lot! Which I am very happy about because today is a good day!

Positive Outlook

OK I have been a slacker. I wanted to write last week that I was able to get my 3+ hour run in for 15 miles (2 weeks ago). Last weekend I did not get a long run in but I am happy to report that this weekend is wide open and I will absolutely be getting in a 5-6 hour walk/run. My 15 miles was majority walking. I have been in a dilemma lately, well okay I have been sleeping in the mornings and thoroughly enjoying it. I have class until 10pm on Mondays and Wednesdays which makes it hard. Thursdays I have class until 8pm so I will try to run tonight, if only a few miles. The weirdest thing has happened, in that when I am not in class I want to be studying. I rewrite my notes and make note cards most of my free time and it has been paying off. So far I have only had one test but I got an A! I will have tests June 14, 21, 27, and the final the 28^th! I have made school an absolute priority for the next few weeks. The bad thing about that is, I will only have a couple weeks to get back to the regular running before the 24 hour race. The okay thing is, I am just going to lace up, show up and see what happens. If I don’t run more than last year, no big deal.

No Matter when or where I run- I end up filthy

The 15 miles was more of a mental training. I went out there with the walk/run strategy for the first few miles and then I shut my watch intervals off and just did what I wanted to. It was a gorgeous day, around 80 degrees. For a bit there I was trying to figure out the pace I would need in order to run 75 miles but still have time to stop, etc. and I think I came up with 16 min  miles would give me 75 miles in 20 hours…allowing me 4 hours for pit stops, sock changes, food, etc..If I were to just walk, without stopping more than 30 mins at a time, I could do it.. I was also looking at the results from last year.. I did 7 laps, this year I only need to do two more than that…only 9 laps, that is all! If I subtract the nap I took between 3-5am last year I think that will be a huge factor.

Geese and their little ones

Skyline <3

This was taken on a weekday run...it's pretty before the storm

This one has a Tim Burton feel to it, eerily comforting

 The first year, when I did the relay, I remember seeing a guy smiling and power walking. He was about my age and he walked I think over 60 miles. And that honestly made me think I could do 50 when I signed up last year. I hope that maybe one day people will see me walking or walk/running and think ‘I bet I could do that too one day.’

I like running and I like the race atmosphere, I know that I am justifying my laziness right now but I am okay with that. In a few weeks I will have… you ready for this? Over 2 months off from school! No classes at all! I have been in school every semester for the past 2 years. I signed up for just one class in the fall and it is not a science so it will not be as time consuming. The next…6 months, well 5 once I am done Micro will be a good time to train. It makes me grateful for just having to work 40 hours a week. Maybe I will even pick up cooking or some other domestic activity folks do of my age….Or maybe I will catch up on all of my shows…Let me just worry about today first…

Progress

I had a nice run this morning, about 3 miles. I will update soon, more in depth. I did get my long run in last weekend though :)

"Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning." ~Benjamin Franklin

Recommitment

Saturday night I stayed at my friend Jen’s house in Somer’s Point. I had been really tired from a beautiful wedding in LBI (Congrats again to Colleen & Jamie) Friday, then heading to the shore for the afternoon Saturday to relax and catch up. I probably was asleep within seconds of my eyes shutting… I remember a lot of my dreams and I dream every night. Sometimes I forget them as soon as I wake up and other times, they stick with me for awhile. I had a dream Saturday night about 20 in 24. Maggie, Julieane, and some of the other Lone Ranger women were there. We were on a little street in Italy and it was night time. The other girls were getting ready and it was clear the race was happening here and now. I looked down and I had on shorts and a t-shirt, I could have run in them if I had to but it was clear I was not dressed for this occasion. I was worried because I had not trained but I was ready to go because I committed to it.

I was just about to start and my brother Sean grabbed my shoulder, “Kate! What are you doing?! Why aren’t you in this?” He was pointing at my clothes. “I am, Sean…I signed up in November, I am def in this!” and I tugged on my bib number. “I mean, you are usually psyched…you usually have on something fun you picked out, something bright to change into later, some stupid wrist things or something…this isn’t you! This isn’t how you race! Did you even train?!” I felt like a deer in headlights… “I, uh… I ran Broad Street” Yeah at that point we both looked at the ground and shook our heads. I woke up feeling terrible! I have NOT been training the way I did last year and even though it is less than two months away, I need to do something drastic!

Sunday I ran 11 miles, with the dream fresh in my mind. It was a gorgeous day, pretty hot too (around 80) and I went out with a goal to run 2 hours or at least 10 miles. I did 11 and was over 2 hours, so I felt great! Monday I was a little sore and did not run. Monday night when I was settling in for bed, after 4 hours of Microbiology…I asked God to help make running a priority again, for the help to get me up in the morning and get back to training. Tuesday I woke up before 6 and got dressed. It was raining so I decided to use the keychain I haven’t used too often to go to my gym. The treadmills have new TVs, touch screens, and it was pretty neat. The pace and time are right on the TV and the button to adjust the speed wasn’t a button but a lever type thing. I was liking it. It even gave you a workout summary when you were done. I did 4 miles, under an 11 min pace which is good! This morning the heat had me up before my alarm at 5:45. This time it was nice enough to run outside though. I did another 4 this morning. It was humid and I was soaking wet with sweat in the first mile, but I always prefer that to the treadmill!

My goal is to run for 3-4 hours this weekend. Next weekend I will be in CT Fri and Saturday and have a baby Shower Sunday so I will be happy if I get 2 hours in…I might have to wake up really early one week day and crank out like 10 miles..I am going to keep praying and see what God thinks I should do about it. June 9-10 weekend I would like to run 5-6 hours. Maggie said that our longest run should be June 16 or 17 because it will give us 4 weeks to recuperate. Her and Julieane just ran a 50 mile trail race on Sunday, so I think that is there farthest run (those girls are slightly crazy). I was thinking about an 8 hour run June 17. Maggie and Caroline said they are free too. 

I am going to see “Buddy” the musical about Buddy Holly with my parents and Patrick Saturday which will be a perfect time to see if they are free any of those days. Last year, I know I wrote about it…my parents showed up for Maggie and I on our longest run with ice cold water, bananas, and orange Gatorade. I think it qualified as top 5 happiest moments of my life. It would be awesome if we could get some support pacers to come out again like Bonnie, Ed, and I think Annukka and Matt were there. It is all kind of fuzzy now, but I remember that happiness. I was also delusional, but oh so happy. I have been hyper all day and I think it has everything to do with the fact that I am 100% back in this!

Broad Street Run 2012

Yesterday 40,000 people laced up to run 10 miles down Broad St, and I was one of them. It was a great day, beginning to end. Obviously if you have read my blog before you know that I run because it feels pretty awesome. I also like the t-shirts and medals, let’s not lie. Over the past couple years, doing Team in Training, and other group running organizations my mind set has completely changed. I prefer running without headphones and I like to start conversations with people. At least I make little comments if I like their shirts or it looks like they need some motivation, etc.

Here is the group I met at the subway to head to the start: Back row (L to R) Justin, Lauren, Evelyn, Maggie, Me, Matt, Lori, Jessie, Mark (front R to L) Caroline, Annukka, Julie, Dana, and Suzanne

I was in a groove yesterday, felt fantastic! I ran the first mile with Jessie and then decided to start run/walking. I was around a ten min mile for the first 3 miles, 51 mins for my 5 miles and 1:13 for my 7 miles, very very good for me!

Right after mile 8 I was grooving down the left side of Broad St, I tried to stay to the sides because I was taking walk breaks. I raised my arm (that had a neon green arm warmer on it) every time I transitioned into a walk as I was taught to do in any race. There were a couple snide comments directed my way by frustrated runners, telling me to move over to the side. With 40,000 runners it was hard to weave to the farthest lane every 2 minutes. I had to shake them off and realize some people are grumpy, and they probably didn’t like that I would run past them during my run spurts. I used to HATE when people ran/walked, because I felt like I put in way more effort than them because I was running the whole time. They should have to finish way behind me for ‘giving up’ and walking. My how the tables have turned! But I can understand people’s frustration when they look like they got hit by a truck 7 miles in and I am still smiling ear to ear as I power walk by.

 Ridiculous lines for the bathroom

As far as the eye can see---Sea of People

Me & Jessie

Ok so a little after 8 miles I saw this woman go off to the side and crouch down, grabbing her leg. She was using a car for support and I stopped to see if she was okay. I had a feeling she didn’t have a phone on her and there were no cops or medics in the near vicinity. She said she got a cramp in her calf for the first time ever. I started walking with her and she was devastated. It was her first Broad St Run, the longest race she has done. I pointed out how it could have been worse, she could have gotten this cramp at mile 4, she was so close the end now. There have been so many times when I wanted to quit, or I was alone in the race and got lost deep down in that dark mental spot that says I am no good. Something told me if I left this woman she could venture to her deep dark place and I didn’t want that to happen.

Mile 6- smiling and grooving- and waving to photographer Jay

She didn’t ask me to stay with her and has I kept running I would have gotten my best time, but I’ll run Broad St again and now maybe Patti will too. She tried to run a couple times but said it hurt too much. I got into my motivation mode and start telling her what a huge accomplishment it is to finish this race. That most people never run ten miles (oh and my fav shirt yesterday said something along the lines of “No matter how slow your pace, it’s faster than the people who never left the couch”- it def had better wording to it but I LOVED it and told the guy wearing it) and she should be proud. She said without hesitation ‘Well I didn’t run the ten miles, I’m walking!’ and like a dagger to my heart, I spouted back at her that I have walked/ran 3 marathons and still crossed the same finish line I would have had I ran the entire thing. There was a slightly awkward pause and then I smiled at her as we passed the ‘1/2 mile to the finish’ sign.

We did jog across the finish line and then Patti and I parted ways. I was really glad I got a chance to help out, because I feel like that is only a tiny bit of what other people have done for me. I was only 5 minutes slower than last year and I did have a hidden goal of under 2 hours, which I made (1 hour 52 mins). All in all it was a wonderful day!