Mind Over Matter

It no longer is about if you can or cant, but if you will or won't.

Today was the hardest and longest run of my life! When we pulled into the Valley Forge park, it started snowing. There is still a lot of snow on the ground out there so we weren't able to run our usual route. Instead we ran up and back the 'service road' twice. Oh the HILLS!! The snow kept up for the first two hours of the run. I stayed with the group of girls I always seem to start off with, for the first 9 miles or so. Then I ran solo. By the time I did the loop twice, and just had that stinking service road left, my body was in pain. My right calf was hurting after about 4 miles but by the time I hit 13 both legs seemed pretty pissed at me. You know what though? I finished! I ran 16 miles this morning in 3 hours and 15 minutes.

This week has probably been my best week training. I had two 7 mile runs that both went smoothly. I started walking a minute after every 2 miles, and it is helping. Today I did not know the mileage exactly but I did the minute walk a few times. The last three miles I walked a little more though because the hills were just monstrous at the time. But I was not getting angry with myself that I had to walk. That is some progress. Different people have told me different things about when the mental wall comes in a marathon. I have heard mile 16, mile 20, and everywhere in between. I think mine is 11. I dropped back a good amount at the 11th mile, but mentally I tried to stay optimistic. As far as the physical wall, I would say mile 15 or 16. I have never been so tired as I was today. I came home, showered, and napped for 2 hours.

Like I said, this week was the best training. I got the runs done and was able to enjoy them instead of hoping they were done. Bed early tonight for sure. I know that I will be able to do the marathon now. I know I will. Only a few more weeks and less than a handful of long runs until the big day. My brothers and friend Jana are coming to Nashville and I am so excited to know that people I love will be there at the finish line. I am starting to get more and more excited :)

Attitude of Gratitude

"I tell our runners to divide the race into thirds. Run the first part with your head, the middle part with your personality, and the last part with your heart." ~Mike Fanelli

Yesterday I went for a 12 mile run. I ran on my own because I didn't get a ride to Valley Forge. This past week I have been able to relate with the quote above. The first two miles are like OK but nothing great and then I get my groove and I'm ok. Yesterday I ran up Kelly Drive to Falls Bridge. What I wasn't taking into consideration was that for the past several weeks I have been running with the Team for my long runs. After 4 or 5 miles I have grown accustomed to having a water stop and started to work in a Gu pack after about 7 miles or an hour of running. Yesterday I had nothing. When I got to Falls Bridge, I started salivating like Pavlov's dogs. Just seeing the bridge and where the water stop is usually set up made me want water SO bad. I hit 7 miles at the bridge, because I started at my house, and headed back. I stayed on the East side because I am more familiar with it and did not have to run the whole loop to reach my miles.

I was 3.5 miles away from Lloyd Hall and any drinkable water. Every runner that ran by me with gatorade or water, I envisioned taking it from them and chugging it! I am not sure what exactly I was thinking going out for a 2 hour run with nothing to drink or eat, but never again will I make that mistake. About 2 miles from Lloyd Hall I started staring at the snow, it was looking pretty good. The irony of the situation was that I was running next to the River the entire time! I finally made it to Lloyd Hall and drank some water from the sink in the bathroom. The water fountains aren't on right now because I think the pipes are frozen.Anyway, I was at 10.5 when I got to Lloyd Hall. I finished out my 12 miles, by running to CVS on 19th and Chestnut so I could buy a water and powerbar.
I ran with my Iphone so I could listen to music. I think I need a new cover though because my palm was black by the end. Yesterday was the thirstiest I have ever been running, I am glad we got that out of the way. I was even considering wearing one of those belts the hardcore runners wear. I have to figure out what is going to annoy me the least, the belt and mini bottles swishing around or holding a bottle and having that swish around. I was voicing my dilemma to a friend of mine and he just reiterated that the water situation, just like the running, is mental. If I allow it to annoy and frustrate me, it will. I remember being in High School and running with my Cd player/Walkman, which is like enormous compared to the Ipod Nano. But I made it work, because I had no other option. There was a time when I wore the headphones that connected on top, not the individual ear buds, and the plastic would clang against my earring. That annoyed me so much I wanted to break the headphones. Eventually, I got the ear buds and my serenity back. A similar situation happened when I was wearing my cross necklace, but then I just tucked it into my sports bra when I ran. The point of all of these annoyances, is that I got through it. It is not the end of the world and I will get used to the swishing or the belt if I have to.

Friday I went for a run that was supposed to be 6 miles but I had no tracker with me and ended up running 7.5. It was a very slow run and by the third mile I just didn't want to be running anymore. By the 5th I was smiling and in my groove again.I wasn't sure how to start this blog, so I figured a quote could get the ball running. These little snippets of wisdom and motivation help me when my brain hits the wall. Knowing that it is all mental and only a tiny bit physical still does not keep my mind from straying to negative thoughts at times. It's good that I have little sayings and reminders to turn the negative around. I am sure I have written on here before the huge difference having an attitude of gratitude makes, in every area of my life. When I feel sluggish and like the miles are not going anywhere, just taking a minute to be grateful that I have two working legs and the physical health to even be considering running a marathon, makes me feel better. So what if I have a sluggish mile or two, as long as I stay good to myself, I'll get there.

Friday's run I lowered the music every two miles to check in physically and just acknowledge and compliment myself on where I was right then. It's hard for me not to think about the miles and worry about how many more to go. But when I am in an ideal head space, I am enjoying the mile I am in and just floating through it. I think that I have to have some bad runs, everyone does I think. But just like in life, I think it is just so I can be truly aware and grateful of the good runs I have. Just to keep me in check from taking anything for granted. Just like there are good days and bad days. Eventually you learn to break it down even more, so you have good parts of days and bad parts. Learning to identify the good within the whole stems from gratitude too. With running I think it's like having a good mile or a not so good mile (I don't want to say bad because a mile completed, can't be a bad one right?) Anyway what I am getting at, is that training is hard when I make it hard. Yes it takes dedication to stick to the schedule and get the runs in. And it takes some work to keep my mind in line, but the reward to it all will be well worth it.




Kelly Statue

At the 7th Mile

Falls Bridge

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
- Author unknown


This is a popular poem that I am 95% sure that the author is Anonymous (some sites have a name but I don't know who to believe). The first time I came across this poem I was going through a difficult time, about 4 years ago. I had never seen it before. I wandered into a Religious store, near the church in my town. It was right next to a Green Cross with silver lining. On the top of the cross a silver sign dangled and it said 'Don't Quit.' I walked out of the store, with the cross and poem (I paid, don't worry). About 6 months later I was with some people and a friend of mine read this poem and said that he loved it because it reminded him of his dad, who he had just recently lost. I am always amazed how the same words on the same paper can strike people so differently, it really is a beautiful thing.
I was feeling down on myself yesterday because I have to change my running schedule slightly this week. Life happens and it doesn't always go as planned, yet I still get a little thrown off when it doesn't. Last night I left work a little late, couldn't catch the train (too many people), the bus never came, and I was running late to where I had to be. It wasn't the end of the world, but I was frustrated I couldn't go home and have the rest of the night fall in order the way I had planned it in my mind. Thankfully a friend of mine was able to point out that God really is the only one with the plan and that God probably thought it was funny I had one yesterday...
I had to laugh, because seriously if my biggest issue is finding enough time in the day to do all the things that I have an opportunity to be a part of, not really seeing the issue here. When you break down any 'problem' and get down to the core, you can always find gratitude. At the end of the day, I had eaten, I had a place to lay my head, and I had clean clothes and running water... The bare necessities were met but my mini tantrum made it a little hard for me to see that at first...

My favorite line in the poem;
"success is failure turned inside out, the silver tint in the clouds of doubt"
That is awesome. Like choosing to say silver tint instead of lining, because a lot of the time it's hard to see or find the positive. Every failure is just a lesson we needed to learn before we get the success we are striving for. This 'Anonymous' was one deep cookie. So my message today is to just keep going. Feeling guilty about something I have no control over or can not change, really will get me no where. I'm choosing to look up positive things today so by 6 when I hit the gym, I'll be filled with motivation and gratitude.

Even though it's easy to complain, like most of America, about sitting behind a desk for 8-10 hours a day most of the week, when you see people come in with smiles on their faces because they are grateful to have another day here, it is so hard to think you have it bad. Yesterday there was a patient who came in and he looks amazing! When I started working here, almost a year ago, I used to see this person and my heart just dropped every time he came in. He is young, and he was in a wheelchair sometimes because the treatment made it hard for him to walk. Yesterday he walked in with a smile from ear to ear. His face was filled with color and honestly it is the type of situation that can only be described as a walking miracle. I haven't seen him in a few months and it was just so amazing. Anyway, I just thought I'd share that on here. To physically see for yourself a person beat cancer, really is one of the most amazing things I think I will see in my lifetime. The courage and strength of the patients and their families and friends who are there with them every step of the way, truly is love in action.

Just Keeps Getting Better

Yesterday I ran the farthest I have ever run in my life, 14 miles!! And from here on out, every week will be the farthest I have ever run. It's amazing that a year ago I was in Tallahassee getting ready to run my first half marathon. After I was finished I was convinced that was the farthest I would have ever run. Honestly at that moment I didn't have any interest in running even that far again. But now, here I am running that far just on a training run!! Not to say that I didn't take a two hour nap after I got home, because I did. But it was different. Yesterday I went out and had fun and by the end of the night I wasn't in pain or even thinking how that was all I did yesterday. It was just the beginning of the day. And you know what? I am feeling that runner's high. The endorphins are like on steroids or something and I feel like each run, it's just going to get better. I know that the pain will come and after awhile ( I think it's mile 11 for me) it becomes ALL mental, but I have faith now. I ran more than half a marathon yesterday!! My friend told me I had the runner's glow :) It's awesome! And I am pumped to keep going!!
I still need to set a date to have a spaghetti dinner, I am trying to find a place close by, but I will post as soon as it's set. Thing's are happening :)

“Success isn't how far you got, but the distance you traveled from where you started.”

Oh Happy Valentine's Day :)

The Calm Before the Storm

I went for a run early this evening, around town. It was the calm before the storm. My motivation was capturing some of the sights on my phone:

City Hall at the Days End

Brotherly Love <3 href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSodVVqwjg72RodExL9AtOc-ADLiK_JLabGNyuQVQimAdAlrKWVU1d53nmhVkhQ6azHna792HkeBty7L0NZ47CoO0-uxAeOW8fVF-MuII2hMeUyawX5K11MztICTbloGP1bT65WCfgJ8lh/s1600-h/south+st.bmp">
I love the statues on the South Street Bridge and for the longest time I never realized they were there.

I am feeling great. Today, yesterday, and Wednesday I ran about 5 miles. Inside yesterday and outside Wednesday and Today. It really hasn't been too cold. Sunday though... Let's just say I hope the plows hit Kelly Drive first :)

Run Bear Run

On Top of the World

Yes that is frozen Gatorade from Saturday Morning's practice. Actually I guess it is more of a slush but regardless it was FFFFreezzzzinnnnGGGGG!!!!

This weekend was incredible!!! Saturday morning, we gathered around at Valley Forge in the 19 degree weather for one common goal. To run! It was a big crowd this week because the Summer Team had their first training. I felt bad for them because I don't know how I would have felt if my first practice was hills and slushy Gatorade. I was running late, because I stayed the night in Jersey at my mom's. I woke up around 6am so that I could have enough time to go back to my apartment, change, and grab the re commitment paperwork (It was due yesterday). I pulled into the parking lot about 8:05 and saw the Mass of people. I was able to sign in and get the route from someone before we took off. It was similar to the run we did two weeks ago, except when we ran two miles one way on the path and turned around..We ran another mile out and back from the split in the path. I kind of dropped back from the group in front of me around the second mile. But I brought my headphones because I was planning on running solo. This guy, Kurt, dropped back with me. He waited for me in the end last week too. I could tell that he can run faster but he was just being a good team mate. A couple weeks ago, I over heard him talking about how he just ran the Disney Marathon. So I assumed he was one of the coaches, because who the heck would be out running 10 miles two weeks after they finished a marathon? I asked him how long he has been a coach and he told me he wasn't. He's a Hero.

Looking at him I would have never thought, but then I found out it was 20 years ago. He had lymphoma and went through 3 years of treatment. He said that his body responded really well to the treatment and thankfully he was able to make a recovery. He started explaining that the longer you go, the smaller your chances. Since it has been 20 years he has the same odds as getting cancer as anyone else now. He's run 8 MARATHONS!!! That's amazing!! I wanted to ask him why he hasn't shared a mission moment at practice yet but maybe they are waiting til closer to the race.

The Mission moment last Saturday, Oh my Gosh it was so sad but inspiring. The one girl, who is running the Paris Marathon, began running with TNT because her Uncle had passed away from a blood cancer. While she was training for one of her marathons ( I can't remember how many she has done) Her father was diagnosed with the same blood cancer that her uncle had. The weekend of her marathon (It was in California and she is from Pittsburgh I think..I may have some of the details jumbled..Anyway a LONG distance) her father got worse and went into the hospital. She debated running but her mom encouraged her to go run, For her dad. And she did. Her mom was able to bring a computer into the hospital so that the dad could see her daughter cross the finish line. (He had never been able to see her finish one) And so they watched their daughter, finishing her marathon in California, right in Pittsburgh. The daughter moved home for a year to take care of her father and he passed away in September of last year ('08). She keeps running in honor of her father and her uncle. I think she said that her mom has run at least one race too, which is just absolutely amazing. As she was talking about the money being raised, she said that there were more options for her dad when he was diagnosed than there were for her uncle. Each year, the research goes farther and they really are getting closer to a cure. The fact that She was able to share all of that with us and continue to fund raise and run, I literally don't have words for the strength and inspiration she has within her. I saw her this week running and I smiled and just got more inspiration just when I needed it. I saw her around 8 miles and it was an automatic reminder as to why I was there.

Once I passed the 10 mile mark I had to calm myself down. I was only 1 mile from running the farthest I have ever ran, not in a race. I was so Happy! And I wasn't in pain at all!! Like I said I had dropped back but I never lost sight of the group in front of me and there were some runners behind me too. I looked at my phone to check the time between mile 5 and 10 and I was at a 10 min pace!!! It was incredible!!! When I finished I was glowing I'm sure.. The ride home I had the heat blaring on my face but I just couldn't get warm.

I was going to drive home to my mom's right from Valley Forge but I started to Shiver before I got to Philly so I decided to go to my apartment, shower and get warm before heading back to Jersey. I have never been so happy for a Hot shower! Because I was so cold I straightened my hair, so the weather forced me to look half presentable lol. My mom and I went to Geets Diner when I finally got back to Jersey and I was floating the rest of the day. Of course, the snow started...

On my drive to my mom's some flakes started to fall and I was SO glad it waited until then.

"We must remember that one determined person can make a significant difference, and that a small group of determined people can change the course of history.” ~Sonia Johnson