Why We Run

Yesterday morning before our run, we had a little more than just the Mission Moment. Our Fall Coach told us that there are two points in every marathon that most runners talk about having. The moments when you think that you will not finish or you contemplate not going on. He asked us to take a minute to think about why we signed up for the Team. Who are we running for? Those we are running in Honor and in Memory of. Then after a silence to make sure we all had in our minds our reason, he asked us to think of another moment.


He said that in the past 6 months, no one has had a perfect training season. There were days when you laid in bed and did not want to get out and run. The days when your knee or ankle were hurting but you still laced up and got through those miles. The times when we showed up and were thinking ‘Why on earth did I sign up for this?’ He asked for another minute so we could think of an exact moment of our own that we fought through. He said that when we hit our first ‘screw you (or F you) moment’ (which it is often referred to as) in the marathon on Sunday, to think about why we are running.

Brian, our Fall coach, is a hero himself, so he said that he always thinks about when he was going through Chemotherapy. He said nothing was harder for him than that daily struggle and the other heroes (the people we are all running and raising money for) have that battle every day, so one day for the few hours it takes for him to finish is not that bad. Then for the second moment we have, in our struggle to the finish, we need to think about the past 6 months. Our whole spring, summer, and fall we have been preparing for this one day, this one race, and it would be Stupid to think we couldn’t finish something we have been practicing for all this time.

I wrote last week, my reasons for why I joined the Team. I remember getting emotional in Nashville and again in NJ at the Inspiration Dinner the night before the Marathon. They play a slideshow of pictures (that teammates submit) of people we are running in Memory and in Honor of. I am getting teary eyed just thinking about it. Cancer knows no demographic; children, elders, twenty some-things, fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, all shapes and sizes are affected by it. Afterwards they have a Hero speak about their battle and how LLS has helped them to get through (Medical expenses, if they are a part of a research study, etc) this time. Sometimes it is someone who is in remission and sometimes it is someone who is not as lucky. They do this so we continue to remember our reasons.

At the end of the dinner we meet with our team to decorate our race jerseys in the hotel lobby. Some people have printed out pictures of the people they are running for, while others make ribbons for them with their names and glue them to their jerseys. I had I think 6 or so white ribbons when I ran before. There were a few patients while I was working in the Cancer Center that were not doing very well and I wanted to remember the fight that they were having. There were two people in particular that I saw right before I went to Nashville and was told that they only had a few days left. The week between Nashville and NJ, both men passed away. It was really sad but I remember praying for them and in a way feeling relieved that they were finally out of their pain. I have been thinking about who I will make ribbons in Honor and in Memory of this year.

There was a patient from the Cancer Center who passed away at the end of October. I saw a girl I used to work with the day he passed and she let me know. He was a Philadelphia Fire fighter and used to come in every 2 weeks for treatment. He was always so happy when he came, with his girlfriend. They always brought food and cakes, definitely spoiled us. He had been coming the entire time I worked there, every other week. I think a lot about the patients that I do not get to see anymore, because I have switched jobs. Every time that I do run into someone from there it is usually them letting me know who has passed. My heart aches every time, especially when it is someone who had a recurrence. There is a younger guy who I was told is not doing well. I lost my friend, Ellen to Lung Cancer in March this past year too. Like I said, I run for any cancer, just under LLS. It doesn’t really matter who I put on my shirt, as long as I pray for those people and keep them in the front of my mind, that is what matters.

Yesterday morning, one of the coaches shared about a friend of hers who passed away this past week and another mentor asked for us to take a group picture that we can send to a guy who has recently found out his cancer is back. He is a member of the Team and she wanted to make sure he knows we are all thinking of him.

I am still really excited! Only 6 days left!! Yesterday we ran 11 miles and as you can see in the pics below, it was a gorgeous morning! There were deer literally frolicking in front of us, the trees were shades of autumn, and the feeling of success lingered with everyone there. I get gushy just thinking about it. I am that person that will just start crying because this life, as complicated and hectic as it may seem to be, can be so purely beautiful all in the same moment.

On a non cancer related note, a friend of mine is in the hospital after she fell on Thursday night and hurt her leg. I think she fractured or pulled something, but she is having surgery this afternoon to have a screw placed in her knee. I received a text on Friday with her hospital room number and she is staying on the floor that I work on! I went to visit her Friday afternoon and she had a smile, ear to ear. She was glowing! She said that so many people had come to say hi to her and she was so happy. I got a chance to sneak in and wish her luck this morning before I clocked in and she had that same smile on her face. She told me a nurse prayed with her last night and asked me to send one up for her. I am not really sure how that related to my running or LLS but I think it is more of the beauty you can find in other people’s gratitude, when you get out of yourself enough to notice it.

This was a long entry but apparently I had a lot to say! To everyone that is running on Sunday, GOOD LUCK! I am sure I will update at least one more time before the race but in case I forget to wish it then. Every one of us has already accomplished so much by getting to the point we are right now. We really just have the fun part left :)